Chosun Bimbo

heehee

Of course I too had Friday’s paper but because I read it half asleep it never occured to me: (Kudos to Lost Seouls) - Click for larger image

Movie review

As the result of some happy coincidences I have watched 3 movies
in 2 days. So I am happy to present the Bimbo Review:

Twisted
(a.k.a Black Out)

Starring: Ashley Judd, Andy Garcia and Samuel L. Jackson.

Despite promising myself I would never watch another Ashley
Judd movie after seeing the ridiculous ‘Double Jeopardy’ I watched this on the
strength of Andy Garcia and Samuel L. Jackson. I was disappointed. The film
follows Judd’s character that has just been made a Homicide Detective.

In her first case she finds the body of a man whom she has
slept with. She also happens to have slept with 3 more victims. At the same
time she has blackouts leading her to believe she is the one killing all the
men she’s had 1 night stands with. (Remind you of anyone?)

Anyway in the end the killer is Samuel L. Jackson who as it turns
out also killed Judd’s character’s mother.

Bimbo Rating: CRAP!

The Aviator

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, The guy from Boogie Nights, Alec
Baldwin and the guy from M.A.S.H

My hopes were high for both a Scorsese film and it being
Oscar nominated (Did it win?). And I think the film basically hits the mark.
The biggest let down is that even with facial hair DiCaprio still looks like
the 12 year old from ‘Basketball Diaries’ and ‘Romeo & Juliet’. 

I was also left wanting more info - don’t semi-autobiographical
films give you some info at the end just before the credits? Speaking of which
I think it was a fraction to long at just under 3 hours. (Especially when I
started watching it at midnight.)

Bimbo Rating: NOT BAD

Constantine

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weiss and
Satan.

In his first box office outing since ‘The
Matrix’ Reeves plays supernatural detective and exorcist Jon Constantine of
comic book legend. Visually quite appealing (the film not Keanu) Constantine is escapist fun with a relatively
interesting story line with anyone vaguely acquainted with either the Bible or
Dante’s inferno. Essentially Constantine must prevent the birth of the Son of
Satan (in opposition to the Son of God) and is attempting to buy his way back
into heaven by exorcising as many demons as possible after being condemned to
an afterlife in hell for committing suicide (and “being technically dead for 2
minutes”). Of the three movies this is really the type of film that I like and
it delivered both in the overall production design and story line.

Bimbo Rating: GOOD.

In other news:

I had the pleasure of being invited out
for a few drinks with Capt. Park and the lads from the airbase. Which is always
fun. Hopefully he will send me some pictures of the evening in the next couple of days. Where were we? Ooops of course. Unlike recent
episodes I was home by midnight – being a Wednesday but was completely
inebriated and am suffering a moderate hangover this morning on top of waking
up (and being WIDE awake) at half past 5 this morning. Compounding things
someone let their little yappy dog out for a shit at 2 o’clock this morning and
it kept me awake for about twenty minutes with it’s incessant barking. As any
westerner will tell you, small yappy dogs (usually with hair immaculately
groomed and spray painted pink) are something of a must have for just about
every girl in Korea. Mum and Mark will be here in 3 weeks today.

Here are some dodgy pics from the night - Why am I the only one in Korea with a crap camera phone?

Sam

YunHee

Breaking News

No the biggest news of the week is not that I finally managed to unblock my Kitchen Sink (after about a week). Nor is the big news recent June 15 celebrations between the Two Koreas. No. It’s about a 22 year old South Korean soldier so fed up with having the piss taken out of him that he went and shot 8 of his comrades.

Links here and here

Thanks to The Marmot who is probably the best source of Korean News and Analysis on the W3.

Nude Beach - 아싸!

Does anyone else find the Windows XP login screen a little patronizing when you mis-type your password? "Have you forgotten your password?" it asks.  No. I haven’t bloody forgotten my password. I type it at least four times a day. I feel like asking it "Have you misinterpreted what I typed?" Smug Windows bastards.

I had the unenviable privilage yesterday of having one of my students get really angry at me and cry and start swearing at me. And for the life of me I don’t know why. I was actually in the process of rewarding her by giving her one of these ridiculous sticker award things that the kids can exchange for stationery and she threw it at me and stormed off to her desk. Just great! The Korean  teacher for that class was on the case by 4 o’clock and there were a couple of quick phone calls made and no blowback as of yet so hopefully everything should be OK. Having said that I don’t know what the hell I did and I’ll be buggered if I have to take the wrap if the little witch decides to quit. It actually put something of a damper on an otherwise good day. As promised ‘The Boss’ had a word with my 5 o’clock class who won’t shut up. (He stormed into the classroom just after the bell went to start brandished a large stick at them, barked something in Korean and stormed off again.) The little darlings were perfect the whole time. And the 6 o’clock class have yet to groan under the pressure of all the work I’ve given them so I will keep piling it on.

Conversly one of the areas of work I really dislike - Classes by phone - are going quite well. Above and beyond the fact the kids are easier to control over the phone, I have got the whole thing back on track, have called most of the kids within the last month, they are all answering the phone with the proper materials in there hot little hands and the whole process is running much more smoothly. It’s the small victories I guess…

I’d get sick of being a teacher if the time didn’t go by so quickly. Yet again it is Friday and I have no idea where the week went. Although had I not woken at lunch time every day this week I could have probably fit in a few more productive activities as well. Oh well.

In Other News:
Front page of the Korean Herald: "Nude Beach Planned for East Coast" - Assah! Apparently some local council up in 강원도 think it would be a good idea to lure tourists back with when the KTX service expands to the (much nicer in my opinion) West Coast! The fact that a government body is planning to designate a beach ‘Nude’ is quite intriguing especially since the paper quotes a provinicial official, 이면기, as saying:

"Nude beach(sic) is still very new and radical idea for Koreans"

He follows that up with:

"We are going to do a very careful review of the idea"

Groups opposing the idea include residents and suprisingly fisherman who I’ve always pictured as dirty old men sitting in row boats quite open to a good perve at some shiela with her tits out on the beach - which must be more interesting than the artificial square ponds set up all over the place where old Ajossi go to do a spot of fishing on the weekends.

I though that the whole Idea of a nudist beach was that a) It wasn’t widely publicized and b) it had an air of sticking it to the man about it (or at least sticking it to local residents and fisherman) I can see the whole concept being thoroughly Koreanized with Naked Ajumas selling Kimbab off old rubber mats there’s a truely hideous image, all over the place and Old Korean guys adjusting their Polyester pants, spiting and say Aaaiiiiiish!

Finally as promised earlier a summary of reader comments; this from Kroy:

"Hey sloth reply, to your emails"

Which I can happily say I did, about 3 days after actually reading it.

From 13245vnHk@slam.net:

"Bad credit - No Problem. You are eligable for a platnium Visa or Master Card"

And from Eumi:

"그래, 너무 친절하군, 참 고맙군"

But that’s not really fair because I emailed her and said how much fun I was having while she was back in Nippon for a week. Man she’s good at Korean! ’specially since shes all Japanese on it and stuff. Took me ages to figure out what it said!

That’s it. I will probably post again on Sunday after I tackle my little weekend project - but more on that later. I’m not looking forward to it…

Naval Gazing

I’ve been reflecting lately on how I’ve changed (if at all) since arriving in Korea. So forgive me for getting a little introspective.

People talk about ‘culture shock’ upon arriving in Korea. Alas I can’t really say that’s been the case for me. Perhaps I’m a little more open-minded than I thought? I tend to think that now a days there is no such thing, moreover Korea is a prime example of a world increasingly devoid of borders.

As an example take the number of English words in the Korean vernacular - everything from ‘computer’ 컴퓨터to ’style’스타일 to ‘photo’ 포토and a ‘kiss’ 키스, which can be very ’sexy’섹시.

Sure there are one or two customs you should be aware of: The oldest person in the group pays and woman only ever smoke in the dark in the corner of their bedroom, under a blanket. To me just about everything else is common sense or good manners. I mean who doesn’t take their shoes off when they enter a home?

I have developed more of a tolerance towards other peoples too. There is no better way to cure someone of any racist tendencies they may hold than have them live as a minority somewhere. That is not to say all Koreans are racist, but I have encountered one or two that in spite of my obvious intelligence and good looks have made me feel very stupid and small when it was unnecessary.

In other ways I think my standards have lowered a bit. A year and a half ago I would have balked had someone suggested I drink coffee out of a vending machine. Today I did it twice. Staying with food related things – I can’t remember the last time I actually cooked a meal. My burgeoning waste line is a testament to the wide variety of cheap and delicious foods available – even in a small country town like Nonsan.

I am still rather impatient though. Even after teaching little kids for over a year I still assume they understand things right off the bat and get very stroppy if they don’t. I like to think though my teaching is demanding enough that they learn and remember stuff – don’t forget there’s no NCEA here in Korea folks! Besides I am something of a relief for these poor kids who go to school 6 days a week, 10 hours a day and are forced to wrote learn everything!

I have probably gone a bit soft too. Being here with a modest disposable income has meant I can indulge in all manner of things that until now have alluded me – mostly fun (material) things like my laptop, PS2, PSP, DVDs each week, twice weekly drunken escapades to the local bar, travelling everywhere first class, expensive aftershave and skin care products (Clinique if you were wondering) restaurants and general expensive mischief.

So have I changed? You betch ya! For better or worse? The jury is still out on that one.

 

In other news:

I asked ‘The Boss’ for the 15th of next month to pick up Mum and Mark from Incheon – and like I expected no clear answer, which means 2 days before I’ll remind him and he’ll be like ‘yeah sweet’. Of which; It’s four weeks until they get here and frankly I am excited – I haven’t seen my Mummy in sooooo long.

I found my way to Ooops on Tuesday night (don’t ask me how) and spent the evening sipping Kalua and talking (well trying to talk) to Mi-ri (~sigh~) who just happened to be walking in at the same time I was. W80,000 (NZ$110) later I came home to sleep and try and survive one of the more dodgy Wednesday hangovers I’ve had in a while.

끝

 

mmmmmm Milkis – just like ice cream in a bottle.

Ulsan

Despite predictions to the contrary I managed to get out of any classes on Saturday and headed off to Ulsan.

Unlike my ever-frequent trips to the nation’s capitol where I jump on the train in Nonsan and get off in Seoul, Ulsan requires a bit of planning in order to get there. I was completely unprepared for such preparation after getting in at about midnight to find the Ben Kinsley version of Gandhi on MBC…(compare that to some of his recent films like Suspect Zero where he plays a serial killer)

So at 7am I set off for Daejon by bus, which in days gone by was the best way to travel in Korea, but nowadays with the KTX seems so outmoded, and then from the Daejon East terminal to Dajeon Station by taxi where I got the KTX to Busan followed by another 40 minutes on the subway there to another bus terminal and finally an hour by bus to Ulsan arriving just after 12 - Total travel time: FIVE HOURS!

Here are some pictures taken at an amazing 300KM/h:

Of course the fiasco didn’t end there - no - not by a long shot! My intention for heading to the south was to partake in a bit of Whale meat - horribly environmentally incorrect I know, but where else outside of Japan and Norway am I going to get the chance? So I jumped in a taxi and asked the driver to take me to the harbour where all the restaurants etc are. Instead he drops me off in the heart of the port!

So I spent the next hour walking through some of Korea’s heaviest of heavy industries. Huge complexes of chemical storage tanks, huge tanker ships being loaded with all sorts, smoke stacks billowing all manner of toxic filth, grime and pollution everywhere. Ever present - a stream that runs through the area the water black with oil (?) and heavily polluted.

So disappointing that I got no whale in me belly, but interesting nevertheless. Being from New Zealand I have never seen heavy industry on such a scale and at least I got a couple of pictures. An hour later I had eventually made my way back to a main road, found a taxi and headed back to the bus station for some lunch (Lotteria), a quick look around the Lotte Department store and it was back on the road. Total time in Ulsan: just over 2 hours! Ulsan is of course famous as the home of Hyundai Heavy Industries (and Hyundai in general). Every car that I saw, with out fail was a Hyundai and the corporate logo (the stylised ‘H’) is everywhere. Another observation, if I can jump on the Korean chauvanist bandwagon, which I find myself ascribing to more and more, the girls in Ulsan are chubby! Must be to do with the fact that there is a Lotteria on just about every corner.

And so I made my way back to Nonsan.

Being a Samsung Family card holder I can indulge in the KTX lounge at most major train stations in the country. It is definately a pleasure to sit in airconditioned comfort with free coffee and internet access watching CNN in plush chairs rather than in the smelly hot train station with the rest of the plebs. Of the three I have experienced so far; Busan, Yongsan and Daejon I would have to say that Daejon, though the smallest, is the nicest. There is something to be said for Korea if this is how they deal with customers - The attendants (pretty girls in matching uniforms) open doors for you, bow deeply, smile and are generally nice on it and don’t expect tips. In sharp contrast to NZ where you are unlikely to to be greeted promptly upon entering, say, a cafe, let alone given a smile. Travelling first class on the KTX is fun as well. Whenever an attendant enters a car they bow deeply and say "Ohsosayoh" ("Welcome") in addition to the free coffee, Newspaper and headphones (which I "accidently" brought home with me.)

Final thoughts:
Korean kids amuse me no end.
Some one agrees with me on trashcans in Korea
I put some pictures in the Photo Front Bum (<——-)

Week in review

A full 6 days since my last post - obviously not enough fibre as I’m not very regular!

Monday saw the continuation of the long weekend - I could get used to this 3 days off 4 days on lark, unfortunately it is not to last - the next public holiday isn’t until August when Korea celebrates the 60th year of liberation from the tyranny of Japanese occupation.

Tuesday was back at work. More problems with the 6 O’clock class: Kids running around beating the shit out of each other, screaming louder that the kindergarten kids blah blah blah

Wednesday and the mercury is rising - summer finally asserting itself and the boss had the aircon up full bore - will no doubt have a cold by Friday…

Thursday - Went to the Post Office to EMS some forms to Inland Revenue. On the way bumped into Yun-hi and Mi-ri (sigh). Ken was conspicuous by his abscence, although I’m not entirely suprised after he sent me an SMS last weekend calling off the planned activities on account of his alcohol induced illness. Thursday was hot too - sweating just sitting at my desk - luuuuverly! Cooled down in the evening when it began to rain. Finally sorted out the 6 O’clock class. The solution: give them so much work to do that their little eyes pop out of their little heads.

Friday. It’s still raining and thankfully a little cooler. The plans to go to Ulsan this weekend to eat whale are on hold - the Proficiency in English Language Test or PELT is on Sunday meaning classes - Bollocks! And ‘The Boss’s Wife’ wants me to come in at 10 O’clock on Sunday morning and speak to Yeon-mi’s host family in The States on the phone. - 10 on a Sunday morning for god’s sake!

In other news Imade a podcast during the week but have nowhere to post it so when I finally get it up it will be dated nevertheless funny, and in a similar techno vein I finally got a Gmail address. "Go Google! Go Google! It’s your birthday! It’s your birthday!"

May the Forsss be wit’ U

Posting live from Yongsan Station. I have spent the entire day in the nations capitol. Sorted out tickets for the DMZ tour when Mum and Mark get here in 5 weeks, Figured out where the Hotel is in Seongdong, saw Star Wars III  and have an hour to spare before traveling home First Class on the KTX (see Photo Album <—Left)

Didn’t really sleep so will get home at around midnight and probably crash most of Sunday. Luckily Monday is another public holiday! (2 long weekends in a row - Assa!)

Nagging me all day though has been the question: did I unplug the iron before I left this morning…?

Sue-eee! Here pig pig pig

To answer those pressing questions: Little Red Riding Hood was saved, Pigs are good for the health, but bricks will prevent your house from being blowen down, and Prince Charlie is no longer a rabbit.

I don’t mean to sound bad, or take away from the effort of the kids, nor do I want to bitch about my collegues, but overall, the performance was not very good. It sucked…largly due to the piss poor organizational skills of those involved. Not enough seats, kids not controlled, taking off before getting certificates blah blah…

I’ve given up trying to suggest alternatives as they all just stare at me blankly no matter how simply I try and put things.

Take for example the (supposed) video footage of the performance. ‘The Boss’ was talking up his new camera all last week that could take 2 hours of video yadda yadda… I was expecting a handicam of some discription.

Instead it’s a tiny digital still camera on a ridiculously large tripod that can hold 20 minutes of video on a 256mb SD card! But try explaining the situation…thats right, blank look.

Aaaaaaaaah!

So much so that afterwards when ‘The Director of Teaching’ said the staff were going downstairs for dinner I made my excuses and went and got drunk at Ooops.

Yet again I came away with a freebie - a Chivas Regal thermos. I think Yun Hi is going to make me some curry rice tomorrow and I think I invited her to come to the Everland theme park in Seoul on Saturday - I think - I really can’t remember hee hee.

Here are some of the pics from the performance.

(L-R) Kelly, Ellen, Jenny and Katy - The most menacing 4th formers I have ever met!

Little Red Riding Hood

‘The Boss’ addresses the masses

"Andy"

"Andrew" (Is a little Terror!)

The pig hats I made looked great!

"Watch Out! Watch Out! Watch Out for the Wolf!" or as the kids say it "UUULLP!"

Well Done Guys!

Attack of the Clones

On Monday morning I found myself watching ‘The 6th Day’. Ostensibly a shitty action film starring the Governor of California, but it raises some interesting questions on Human Cloning

Interesting of course because I’m in Korea the home of human cloning!

Dr Hwang from Seoul University is the world’s leading cloner and is successfully inspiring legions of Koreans including ‘The Boss’ who constantly talks about Hwang in a tone usually reserved for Buddah and the 2002 Korean World Cup team.

Somehow I managed to get through the weekend and only spent W20,000 which has to be some sort of record and unlikely to be repeated anytime soon.

In other news:
The problem with doing the dishes is having to do them a day later. I much prefer my previous system of leaving the dishes on the bench for 3 weeks and eating out everynight. (C’mon - I only own 2 plates, a cup and some spoons.)

And I’m a consumer whore - I bought a bottle of Pepsi for the first time in years after seeing God knows how many ads on TV.

The big performance is tomorrow. Will Little Red Riding Hood be condemned to spend the rest of her life inside the Wolf’s stomach? Are bricks really the construction material of the future? And will the spell keeing Prince Charlie in the form of a rabbit be broken? You will, of course, read it (and possibly see it) here first.

Finally this ad really pisses me off. What does ‘Good bye Paul. Follow your age - Hazzy’s.’ mean????