Chosun Bimbo

Not Good!

This is not the best news. Especially since I woke up this afternoon (Shut up it’s Saturday) with a runny nose, sore throat and a headache.

Boogers

I have to say that this may be the grossist thing I have ever witnessed:
All was quiet 10 minutes into my third class. (I know I know - a rare occassion). Students, headds down, were quietly contemplating the enormously difficult grammar problem I had dreamt up in the 30 seconds prior to class I had used to prepare. Then, as if in slow motion, "The Sick One’ raised his head.
It must be the time of year - the change of seasons and all that. But every class has one at the moment. They are easily identified by the huge green staligmites hanging from their nostrils. The way they cough and hack their way through 50 minutes of English before heading off to Taekwondo or Paduk lessons or some such. The Sick Ones.
A sharp gasp of air proceeded an almighty sneeze. A sneeze so loud it rattled the windows and shook my desk. I thought it impossible for such a small whiffle of a boy to let out such an enormous sound. No it has been mentioned elsewhere that Koreans moreoften than not don’t cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze. I don’t hold much to it - I mean I have a tendancy to scratch my ass in public which could be argued as being just as distasteful - this episode merely illustrates the advantages of covering one’s mouth and not spreading vile bacteria all about the place.
The veritable sonic boom sent forth a giant booger sailing across the room. The snot rocket careened onto a desk near the front hitting its grey polished surface with the sound a water balloon makes when it impacts hot concrete on a summer afternoon, sort of a "Ku-ploosh". Such was the force with which it traveled that it slid someway along the desk befor coming to a wobbling halt and finally falling silent and still.
No one looked up, no one made a sound - except for me fighting back the gagging relex. YUCK!

In Other News
I love a good heist

I’m not one for watching sport (with the obvious exception of Cricket.) So I forgot that the Winter Olympics are going on somewhere in Italy. Apparently Korea is quite good at speed skating. Speaking of Cricket i am very happy to see New Zealand take a 2-0 lead in the one day series against The West Indies in Queenstown on Tuesday. (Are we counting theses bollocks 20Twenty things? In which case it’s 3-0) Two things to note: The West Indies is pretty crap without Brian Lara aren’t they. And doesn’t New Zealand loosing its first 4 wickets for about 60 runs sound only too famiar? (Although The Windies scoring only 10 runs in the first 10 overs is kinda telling isn’t it?)

I am very happy to note that I will be heading off to the opening day of the first test when I am in Auckland.

Speaking of which I am increadibly excited - Only 8 days until I fly to New Zealand!!!!!! I can hardly wait.

But to keep me from going completely mental (well more so than usual) I have enlisted the help of a couple of students on Sunday to reinact the Diet Coke and Mentos experiment. Stay tuned. And if you don’t stay tuned I’ll probably email you anyway.

Righto - I’m off to watch SuperSizeMe which I have convieniantly downloaded on BitTorrent.

Oh Yeah!

The first four links are all me. The first four links are all me. The first four links are me!
See it here. And if you actually use my name at least the first entry is me. See that here.

I’m leaving on a jet plane!

My Itinerary can be found here. But also the Carpenters can call me as well, now that I’m an occupent of an interplanetary craft.

Get your name on the chip in the spaceship here.

Also another glue tower from earlier in the week:

hee hee

International Bimbo

So this week I have been dealing with the minute detail of Korean immigration law - in particular new requirements mandated as a result of by These silly fuckers (you may need to register to view the last one)There is always someone who spoils it for the rest of us. Not only did I have to get Mum to piss about on my behalf and send me my original degree by (very very expensive) overseas courier, but now the transcript that accompanies it is unacceptable because it’s been opened. So another 20 odd bucks down the drain to the University of Auckland and more pissing about for Mum - which is more of a sore point than anything else. Not only that ‘The Boss’ has to run around like a headless chicken to and from Daejon again!
I mean, for Christ’s sake - I presented the correct (genuine) documents 2 years ago when I arrived, and again this time last year - if there was really an issue you’d think someone in the Daejon immigration office would have said something before now…aaaaaaah!
But enough of the whining at senseless beuraucratic ineptitude.
In a similar vein My tickets for the return flight home arrived at work brining home the fact that all of this needs to be done within the next 2 weeks. ‘The Boss’ puzzlingly said he’d hang on to my tickets…why, I have no idea, I ain’t gonna do a runner or nuf’ing?! But I have decided to put up a sister blog to yours truely.

Ladies and Gentlemen it is my distinct pleasure to introduce The New Zealand Bimbo.

I will probably end up making very few posts physically in New Zealand* due to having to fit as much in as possible in the ten days I’m home. But I thought it would be probative to set aside different internet real estate to put up all my photos and stuff after I come back. In particular The Dilworth event, landscape shots, and I want to get as much everyday life on film (as it were) so I can show people here in Korea.
I quite like the blogger interface over this free Friendster version of Typepad as I can do a bit of HTML editing. So far this has largly consisted of making those little badges I see on everyone else’s blogs using this magic little tool and adding them into the page, but will extend to other cool stuff once I remember how to do it. (I note the Dilworth Oldboys Homepage that I did most of the original footwork on is no longer being hosted by N4B and the scripting has been changed to horrible, gawdy AutoTheme HTML. But they now have the .com domain as well as the.co.nz one.)
So anyway I will post up my itenary on the NZ Bimbo very shortly so that those of you who are reading this from New Zealand (and more to the point Auckland) have an idea when I will be in town - having already received 2 emails requesting such info - God it’s hard being so popular!

Also big ups to David at staypuff.net who has put me on to the torrrent for some cricket - in particular the VB series games at the end of last month. Nice one mate. (See link on the left) David is in Andong, but he’s from Perth. (Australians…they’re everywhere man!)

Anyway thats it for now (after all I have another post to write on another blog!) Here’s hoping the New Zealand Dollar will continue to bottom out in the next 2 weeks.

끝

*The average NZ internet speed is…56k dial up! High speed will get you 3.4Mb/s down and 512K/s up for $100 a month. Compare that to the 8Mb/s down, 1 Mb/s up W40000 a month I pay!

Croatian Lumberjack

The papers have been full of all sorts of interesting news lately. Probably at the top of the list is a Korean willl appear in Playboy for the second time ever. There is a video of the sort of ‘Search for a Supermodel’ come ‘Popstars’ thingy that a hole bunch of young Korean girls had to go through to try and be in Playboy. See the Movie here.
In a similar vein apparently there is a powerful desire for untrammeled sexual expression among Koreans as illustrated here on the Chosuun Ilbo
Secondly this wicked video of some protest at a Korean university that gets a bit mental on it. Some people say French is the language of love, German the language of efficiency. I think Korean is the best language to complain and whine in: 왜그래~~! 어떻게~~~~!! And as this clip shows it’s quite cool to swear in. (Not that I know any swear words in Korean - at least not how to spell them)
Now to prove how unenlightned Korea can be in terms of society how’s this - This time from the Korea Times

Police said that it was very serious that teenagers were degrading themselves and showing no respect for the people who care for them.

This is the Busan Police response to underage prostitution in the Southern Port city. I’m not sure that respect for one’s parents is really the big problem here. By no way do I mean to condone underage prostitution but for me this comment really encapsulates the (very, very small number of) things that are wrong with Korea. I don’t think Filial piety should stand as the be all and end all in a society. But in saying that Korea hasn’t done too badly now has it. (Mind you all this progress did happen as a result of a rather totalitarian regime - and what is totalitarianism if not everyone working under the watchful eye of a father figure?) Speaking of which you can view the Official website of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea here http://www.korea-dpr.com/ - I was suprised one can actually access it from within South Korea. The lack of any sort of outside influence on North Korea really shows in that the page looks like it was made using a pirated copy of Microsoft Frontpage 1.0 running on Windows 95.

Your internet review starts here:
Now that I have internet at home I have spent pretty much every waking moment trawling through the internet. My usual Saturday afternoon routine of plugging in at work and downloading a weeks worth of podcasts to listen to on Saturday evening before that night’s festivities is no longer as I recieve my Engadget and TWiT and 95bFM podcasts fresh as. I have however come across the Ricky Gervais podcast which is enormously funny. See the Ricky Gervais site here or subscribe in iTunes.
Have you heard the one about the Croatian Lumberjack who received a female kidney by transplant and is now suing the local health board becuase he has been turned on to housework and knitting and has become a laughing stock amongst his mates? Read it

In other news:
Things are going swimmingly in The Republic. Things remain cold and I am looking forward to a week of warmth in New Zealand in 3 weeks time. Work trundles along at a most agreeable pace, rather fast actually. Although I have to get my shit together and get the paperwork ready for my new Visa - especially the whole original degree thing (Thanks fake Canadian dudes!)
I have spent a good deal of the week thinking about things back home - angrily banging on the desk occassionally - but nothing too drastic.And now for your gastronomical pleasure the fourth exciting installment of Bimbo Cuisine: Dokkbuki.

Ingredients
Beer

Korean Rice Cake        떡

Dried, Ground fish       어목

Red Pepper Paste        고추장

(These three are really the major parts - everything else is to taste)
1 Onion
1 Spring Onion
Broccoli
(Broccoli isn’t traditionally in Dokbukki but I like it so much I chuck it into just about everything these days)

Salt
Pepper
Sugar
Garlic

Method
Drink Beer
Add a reasonable amount of Dokk and Ohmok to boiling water. Boil for a bit - or until Dokk is soft.
Add Vegetables
When Veges are cooked drain most of the water and return pot to heat

Add a big tablespoon of Red Pepper Paste, and a fair amount of sugar
Add salt and ppper to taste
stir in Red pepper and crushed garlic
Alow to simmer for a couple of minutes until the water and pepper and sugar has turned into a thick goo.

Serve in a bowl.

YUMMY!

Finally I have made some alterations to the Bimbo in terms of style etc. i am not entirely sure I like the new style sheet and may yet change it around again. I have updated all my links etc as well as adding two new photo albums at top left. One containing a couple of pics from my trip to Japan last year (yes it has almost been 12 months since I visited the Yasukuni shrine much to the astonishment of ‘The Boss’) and one with the pictures I took of Mum and my Step-Dad Mark when they were in Seoul on their way around the world. Those pics are from July - good to see me right on the ball with these things aye! Comments and questions regards the new style can be sent to my email for which there is now a handy link to at top left by the ugly photo of me.

Righto I’m off to watch Fight Club which I BitTorrented yesterday.
끝

PS I did actually take my camera out of my bag twice in Seoul here are the pics

 

A gold pagoda behind the Samsung building in Jongno and this pretty one

And this is Mr Jung Chul himself

 

 

Pajamas

Wow - quite a bit to catch up on. The first being that I have slept in every morning this week so far.
But enough of that. So I went to Seoul with the express purpose of doing very little except a spot of shopping. And I achieved that very nicely thank you so much. (I spent waaaaaay too much) But I the happy owner of two new pairs of shoes, a couple of shirts, a couple of pairs of pants and a bunch of bootleg DVDs. It turned out to be a particularly fun weekend where I spent most of the time indulging myself in all the things unavailable in the small town of Nonsan. I had probably 12 Starbucks coffees over the course of two days, bought a ton of magazines at Bandi and Lundi’s (Time, The Economist etc) and probably the worst idea: I went to McDonalds.
The last time I had more than a coffee at the Goldern Arches was over a year and a half ago, and it’s still crap. But I was particularly happy that I was able to order (in Korean) my medium 2 cheeseburger combo - NO ONION.
I also went to the movies and saw Memoirs of a Geisha at Seoul Cinema. It was OK and I thought relativly faithful to the Arthur Golden novel. Bootlegs I got this weekend were Jarhead, Capote, Saw 2, Goodnight and Goodluck and Syriana. with the exception of Capote they were all rips from DVDs distibuted for awards consideration to members of the Acadamy (or so the little thing along the bottom kept telling me, it also kept telling me to call 1800-NO COPYS if I had purchased or rented the copy -oooops.) Jarhead was particularly good in the mould of all classic Marine Corps films (Full Metal Jacket etc) and Syriana was a suprise stand out.
The beginning of February saw Groundhog day - apparently the groundhog saw his shadow and there is still 6 weeks left of winter. Not a day later it snowed - quite heavily. So it’s still cold.
Spoke to Mum on Sunday by phone concerning the newest ructions coming from home and also to confirm dates and stuff for my little holiday. In a similar vein I am now working to put the increased amount of paperwork together required to renew my visa - Immigration wants my ORIGINAL degree now. Why the f(*&k I don’t know since I’ve been here 2 years already but I do what I have to do. (expensive DHL shipping come up).
I continue to go on and on about it, but work is soooooo much better in the afternoon, either the kids are better or I’m mre on form, but it goes quickly and all under control.
And finally the good news - I am sitting in my pajamas as I write this. I took the plunge and will be spending about NZD$35.00 a month for 8Mb down/1Mb up broadband. (5 dollar modem rental, one year contract, 30 buck install fee - and believe me the poor guy from KT earned it with me bitching at him in Konglish - It took about an hour to find the right wiring to hook me up - I was sure he was gonna rip open the plaster board and he even had to go get his boss but all is well.) So I’m off - lots of mp3s, movies, porn, photos etc to download. - Ahssah.

Having not posted for at least a week this is probably all you’re gonna get, in that I’m off to Seoul for the weekend.

However I promise to take lots of photos and post them up later next week.

In other news:

Thank God winter vacation is over - I don’t have to be at work until 2pm on Monday. And I thought someone was going to through a punch over organising the timetable, but that’s probably enough said about that.